Taking one step at a time. Following Gods footprints and standing on the ROCK so I will not stumble and fall. These are going to be blogs about what God is doing in my life, my random thoughts, and quite possible mommy blogs.
Blessed with my baby boy Liam. Saved by Grace. Trusting in Him and Him alone.
[This is my first time writing my story out. I am just going to be honest. This is probably going to have bad grammar and be kind of ADD but I just feel the need to share what the lord has done]
This time one year ago I was living with my boyfriend. Little did I know I was about 4 weeks pregnant. I had no clue what was coming next. On May 5, 2013, my boyfriend and I packed up our bags and moved to his hometown in Arkansas. On the 6th of May I took a pregnancy test and with in thirty seconds discovered I was going to be a mom.
Now let me back up… I grew up in church I knew God and I loved Him. However, I did not fear him. I did not think He saw ME. I felt insignificant. Growing up I was made fun of. By my sophomore year I thought I found a solution. Be friends with everyone. I had no clue that I would have to wear a million different masks. I became someone who was not Me. I didn’t know who I was anymore. By senior year I had gone down a bad path with guys. Giving my heart and body away to basically whoever would “value me”. I felt that was all I as worth.
Now back to May of last year. I knew I had made a mistake leaving my parents house the second I left. It was my pride that kept me from coming back. I didn’t want to admit I was wrong. When I found out I was pregnant I knew that was God telling me to come home! I knew that I could not live the way I was living if it meant giving my child anything but a Godly stable life. I came home May 19. That was a day ill never forget. My parents welcomed me with open arms. (I could talk about how blessed I am by them but that will have to be another post.)
That summer I went to Kamp Kingsland (my church’s youth camp). I remember hearing a song about God being a father to the fatherless. it was then I realized Liam didn’t need his father God would provide a man or would fill that void. I went home to a mass of texts saying “I love you” “please don’t leave me” ” we can be a family” “come back”. I told him I couldn’t and explained what I learned at camp. it was so hard but in the end very freeing.
From that day on I had to learn to solely rely on Christ. I started to walk with Him. Everyday I have to remind myself that He is stronger.
He is my value and my worth. I am a daughter of the King. I am made in Gods perfect image and THAT alone is enough. That is where I find my fulfillment. I also could talk about my feelings and the spiritual experience I had during the birth of Liam but I am going to write about that in another post. (for my sake I want to write my delivery story).
Anyways. I pray that somehow I can use my story to help someone someday somehow. I hope I can bring encouragement to those who feel like there is no hope for them. THERE IS HOPE!!!! The Lord can free you.
Thanks for reading if anyone did. Sorry that I most likely rambled on and on.